Lakr Mourns the Loss of Chris Cornell

2017 May 20
by mockers

Lakrfool folks. I’m going to steer from my usual assortment of general tomfoolery to address a soul crushing event.

Chris Cornell commited suicide at the age of 52. He had a charmed life…living in Paris, with a stunning wife and three adolescent children. After a sold-out gig in Detroit Rock City, he took his own life. God damn it all..he’s going to make a beautiful corpse. Ponce De Leon dropped him the code for the Fountain of Youth…in life he was forever handsome & thin, dangerous & clever.

Cornell was a beautiful shining black unicorn, and many of us Generation Xers clutched to his horn to get through the 90s. We all fell on black days, but Soundgarden was there with another album to bail us out with songs that hit us between the eyes, straight through the heart, or right in the gut. A fantastic icon we could feel, but never touch.

***Cool Story Bro:  In 92 I saw Soundgarden & Pearl Jam at the Bronco Bowl in Dallas. Was there to to see SG more than PJ, but whatever. When Soundgarden started, my buddy & I ditched our dates to get down & dirty on the floor. In the pit. Get sweaty & greasy.

When Cornell executed a stage dive, he was getting passed around all over, his lustrous flowing curly mane of dark hair flowing over all supporting hands. This tiny blonde chick next to me thrust her hand into his hair, & grabbed a fistful with a deathgrip. She was intent on leaving with a souvenior from her rock god. When the crowd tried to push him back to the stage, she would not relent. She was getting picked up off her feet…she was either going back up to the stage with him, or leaving with a significant clump of his hair.

I grabbed her with both hands on her forearm, burying my thumbs deep between the bones of her radius & ulna, causing her to release her grip. She looked up at me like I was totally malicious & evil, & I returned the same glance. She could lick the conditioner off her pudgy hand, but she wasn’t gonna scalp him.

Anyways, I saved Cornell a chunk of hair. Don’t touch. That’s my CSB with CC.***

Again, his lyrics pulled no punches, causing us to explore the depths of ourselves. The darkness was no marketing ploy to sell records, because here we are today mourning his death, wondering what the fuck happened. Seriously…WTF HAPPENED?!?

WHY would a full-blown, freaking ROCK STAR take his own life? I’m still fully completely baffled.

Between hearing about Magic Johnson with HIV in 91 & Kurt Vonnegut’s passing in 07…how can I relate to such news about my heroes? I feel the same way today, actually much more, than either of those times. Magic’s promiscuity had consequences, Vonnegut was long in the tooth…but I have no justification for the most recent.

The cruel irony of Cornell’s death- is the medicine that he so beautifully, thunderously and eloquently dispensed to the masses for so many years- about sorrow, darkness, depression, and death- eventually got him.

How many of us have been able to give quality advice to our fellows regarding serious matters, but not able to hear that same wisdom in our own lives? Because we are exceptionally broken in our own minds, and not able to believe that we posess the ability to address our own problems, because we are so utterly flawed?

I have no answers, or witty anecdotes. I mourn for a man that influenced my life and has given me much release for the demons that have plagued me.

High volume, head banging, sweet release.

Sorry your demons got you Chris. I’ll keep fighting the good fight with the armour you left behind.

XO-LF

I’ve Seen a Thing or Two…

2016 December 22
by mockers

My wife’s dog is my best friend. She is happiest when she travels someplace and visits people. She seems to know when a trip is entirely for her benefit. Under these circumstances, I have seen that dog have literal seizures of happiness.

She is most unhappy when she feels as though it’s necessary to protect the people she loves. She is second most unhappy when I stare at an electronic screen of some sort for extended periods. She will put up with it for about eight hours, then she gets pissed.

As I slog my way through Lars von Trier’s 2014 Nymphomaniac films, I am beginning to see why. There are moments of extreme beauty, but they come at a price. More than twice I’ve heard Chief Wiggum yell, “Stop in the name of American squeamishness!!” in my head.

So far I’ve had to watch someone wipe Christian Slater’s ass, look at Shia LaBeouf’s penis, and observe Uma Thurman’s head. So far it’s been worth it, but I am likely to come out of this thing as a different person.

I hope my wife’s dog still loves me.

Lakrfool Friday

2016 December 9
by mockers

Another kickass installment by Lakr. I swear to Jibbers, we’re gonna make something together when he gets back. The guy is super talented.

 

Fridays at Mockable are generally for guests. While I no longer know the password to the mockable email address, you can sent me stuff at metten0*at*gmail. If it isn’t plagiarized or racist or whatever, I’ll certainly display it proudly. Thanks – metten