Comments on: As Long As I’m Waxing Semantic http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/ Your online clearinghouse for all things mockable Tue, 01 May 2012 22:54:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Ben K http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1566 Ben K Sun, 19 Jul 2009 12:11:08 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1566 1. Your botox treatments will fool no one. 2. Inspected by Number 12. 3. No one will ever see that video involving you, your girlfriend, two of her friends, a small monkey, and a fire extinguisher. No, really. 4. Your firstborn son will wear girls' jeans and eyeliner, and not in an ironic way. 5. Dave's not here. 6. No! We no see cat of yours. No more ask please. 7. Your heirs will remember you by getting in a violent dispute over who gets your golf clubs, and never speak to each other again. 8. You will meet a mysterious, young, handsome, wealthy, and well-educated stranger on the Internet. Who will turn out to be a 58-year-old pedophile in a halfway house. 9. So's the 17-year-old cheerleader who wants you to talk dirty while she fingers herself. 10. Michael Bay's next movie will also suck. 1. Your botox treatments will fool no one.
2. Inspected by Number 12.
3. No one will ever see that video involving you, your girlfriend, two of her friends, a small monkey, and a fire extinguisher. No, really.
4. Your firstborn son will wear girls’ jeans and eyeliner, and not in an ironic way.
5. Dave’s not here.
6. No! We no see cat of yours. No more ask please.
7. Your heirs will remember you by getting in a violent dispute over who gets your golf clubs, and never speak to each other again.
8. You will meet a mysterious, young, handsome, wealthy, and well-educated stranger on the Internet. Who will turn out to be a 58-year-old pedophile in a halfway house.
9. So’s the 17-year-old cheerleader who wants you to talk dirty while she fingers herself.
10. Michael Bay’s next movie will also suck.

]]> By: Skully http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1544 Skully Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:36:19 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1544 quizeen?? quizeen??

]]> By: Taiwan On http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1543 Taiwan On Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:20:43 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1543 A few that I think are appropriate for Mockers Fortune Crackers: - Someone will pay $49.50 to have you personally mocked. - You will produce a guest mock that very few people will read, and even less will find amusing. - Someone will cut you off on your drive to home tonight. You will use profanity. - You will make some tea and have it with biscuits. Limey queer. - You have the winning MegaBucks ticket in your pocket right now, but so do 9 other people, so you'll have to split the winnings with those miserable bastards. - You will be constipated for three days, but then it will clear. In a horrible toilet-busting ass-plosion. - You will lose your job, but then get a new one. Which pays less than the last one and doesn't have good benefits. - You will flog the dolphin tonight watching a late nite Cinemax offering. A few that I think are appropriate for Mockers Fortune Crackers:

- Someone will pay $49.50 to have you personally mocked.

- You will produce a guest mock that very few people will read, and even less will find amusing.

- Someone will cut you off on your drive to home tonight. You will use profanity.

- You will make some tea and have it with biscuits. Limey queer.

- You have the winning MegaBucks ticket in your pocket right now, but so do 9 other people, so you’ll have to split the winnings with those miserable bastards.

- You will be constipated for three days, but then it will clear. In a horrible toilet-busting ass-plosion.

- You will lose your job, but then get a new one. Which pays less than the last one and doesn’t have good benefits.

- You will flog the dolphin tonight watching a late nite Cinemax offering.

]]> By: Limey http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1542 Limey Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:25:36 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1542 The fortune should be the address of the nearest Wendy's because you know you'll be hungry again soon. Odd but true, there are 2 main U.S. manufacturers of the fortune slips and they both have the same typos since Company A stole all Company B's fortunes, letter for letter. The fortune should be the address of the nearest Wendy’s because you know you’ll be hungry again soon.

Odd but true, there are 2 main U.S. manufacturers of the fortune slips and they both have the same typos since Company A stole all Company B’s fortunes, letter for letter.

]]> By: kristin http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1541 kristin Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:19:16 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1541 You will be so overcome by endless news of a celebrity death that you will pitch your laptop under a semi. You will be so overcome by endless news of a celebrity death that you will pitch your laptop under a semi.

]]> By: Shiny Rod http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1540 Shiny Rod Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:08:55 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1540 OK, here's my top 10 list of fortunes: 10. If you sneak out now, we won't tell. 9. She's just not not into you. 8. The wait staff are secretly laughing at you. 7. Do you think you had enogh many trips to the buffet 6. Small cookies come in plastic packages. 5. The guy sitting behind you just farted. 4. If you get two fortunes in your cookie, you get to choose. 3. No fortune means you just got screwed. 2. A relative will send you money, call your mom. 1. This fortune cookie is utterly useless. I know, crappy selection but thats all I got. OK, here’s my top 10 list of fortunes:

10. If you sneak out now, we won’t tell.
9. She’s just not not into you.
8. The wait staff are secretly laughing at you.
7. Do you think you had enogh many trips to the buffet
6. Small cookies come in plastic packages.
5. The guy sitting behind you just farted.
4. If you get two fortunes in your cookie, you get to choose.
3. No fortune means you just got screwed.
2. A relative will send you money, call your mom.
1. This fortune cookie is utterly useless.

I know, crappy selection but thats all I got.

]]> By: Jason http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1539 Jason Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:34:01 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1539 You can add the words "in bed" to the ass end of any fortune and it'll make sense. You can add the words “in bed” to the ass end of any fortune and it’ll make sense.

]]> By: Shiny Rod http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1538 Shiny Rod Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:25:08 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1538 Oh, and sorry about the penis thingy... Oh, and sorry about the penis thingy…

]]> By: metten http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1537 metten Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:23:27 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1537 Wow. That's not like me. Of course I know how to spell cuisine. I suppose I have no choice but to admit that I am a fuckwit. I'm not technically a colonist, but who cares? Wow. That’s not like me. Of course I know how to spell cuisine. I suppose I have no choice but to admit that I am a fuckwit. I’m not technically a colonist, but who cares?

]]> By: Shiny Rod http://mockable.org/as-long-as-im-waxing-semantic/#comment-1536 Shiny Rod Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:23:12 +0000 http://mockable.org/?p=1067#comment-1536 Heroism is endurance for one moment more. You were definitely brave to attack fortune crackers. Kinda like a fig newton, is it a cookie or is it a cake? ...and here's your fortune: You will write more mockables to make up for this one. Heroism is endurance for one moment more. You were definitely brave to attack fortune crackers. Kinda like a fig newton, is it a cookie or is it a cake?

…and here’s your fortune: You will write more mockables to make up for this one.

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