People Who Back Into Parking Spaces Can Kiss My Ass
A few days ago I was driving through a grocery store parking lot, when my forward progress was interrupted and I was forced to sit and wait for yet another shitpouch to back his car into a parking space. I’m not sure if I fully understand why this bothers me so much, but I have a few theories…
First of all, I believe there’s a lot of theatrics involved – hick theatrics. It’s not absolute, there are exceptions to the rule, but I’ve noticed that many of the backwards parkers are tinged in hick. You know, people in Member’s Only jackets, with a well-known brand loyalty to a particular motor oil, and that sort of thing?
It seems to be a matter of pride among this demographic to go into a parking spot backwards, like they’re making a heroic statement of some sort. But that’s where I get stumped. Why is it something to be proud of? How does it make you more of a badass?
I’ve pondered this question for a long time, and can’t come up with a satisfactory answer. Sometimes when I’m home alone I even stand in front of a mirror, and say, “I back into parking spaces…” in a menacing growl. But it just makes me look like an idiot.
Other groups that seem to believe backwards parking is a defining triumph include old men, exotic foreigners, the morbidly obese, douche nozzles, and standard blowhard assholes. Again, I have no idea why.
Over the years I’ve asked people why they go in butt-first, and have never received a decent answer. Most make a joke out of it, and say, “So I can make a quick getaway!”
And that just pisses me off. As a joke it’s lame, and as an explanation it’s nonsensical. Make a quick getaway? From where, Red Robin? Michael’s yarn store? Sam’s Club? What a hero!
The other stock answer is some kind of muddled treatise about safety. They apparently believe it’s safer to back in than to back out.
But seriously… If a person views the backing of a car from a parking space outside a retail store as simply too risky, maybe they shouldn’t be driving at all. Perhaps they should just stay home and play Sudoku, tend to the teapot, and watch “the Wheel?”
Oh, wait! Teapots get hot and can be dangerous, can’t they? That might be even more terrifying than putting a car in REVERSE, and traveling at 1 mph. So strike that.
No, I think it all goes back to my original point, regardless of the phony explanations offered. I believe it’s rooted in theatrics. I think backwards-parkers are putting on a show of some sort, just showing off. They believe it makes them seem nonconformist, jaunty, and to be marching to a different drummer.
You know, like people who are defined by their hatred of a popular TV show, or who tell everyone about their love of fast food pickles.
It’s all very confusing, as well as infuriating. Because backing into a space takes a lot more time than backing out of one. Oh, I haven’t timed it with a stopwatch, but I know it to be true. Backing-in is a big arrogant production, and interrupts our forward progress. It’s an inconvenience to the rest of us, and is both selfish and idiotic.
So yeah, the people who back into parking spaces can go ahead and start kissing my ass. But be sure to wear safety goggles, because you never know when something might go wrong.
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Cops do this. Endlessly. I can always spot a cop’s POV in any parking lot.
We got a handful here at work that back in. I don’t think they’re hicks but they are definitely DOUCHEBAGS!
The end of the Monty Python Bicycle Repairman sketch would be perfect to go along with this!
Well, you have cleared one thing up for me – thanks! I always just assumed that ALL MEN would park backward if they had the time. I thought it was just a “guy thing.” As my husband and I walk through parking lots, I imagine him glancing about enviously at the car parked backward, thinking, “If I only had had more time…”
The weird thing for me is that I have never seen one of those guys ACTUALLY performing the act… it’s like they arrive 3 hours before everyone else so they can get it just right, and have first pick of the lot. I swear. Never seen it in real time!
Oh, and I know one person who does it… he isn’t a hick, but he is in law enforcement. I agree with you, it is all about the non-conformist, jaunty, different drummer flash.
Show off bastards. When I see one of those maneuvers, I generally smile to myself and think “I’ve got the same permissions you do, asshole, and I can’t even pull in a parking space straight–big whoop.”
Here’s another group of people to add to the list of backer-inners…government workers. I work for my local government, and every single morning get caught in a fucking traffic jam in my parking garage thanks to one fucking person after another backing into parking spots…the bunch of selfish fuckers. If you think about it, government workers totally fit the profile, and yes though I am one, I rise above and pull into a spot like a normal fucking human being every day.
Two words…Jump-Fucking-Start. Not only are the pricks taking up your time, they have no idea what condition their battery is in and…they’ll ask you for a jump-start AND if you have jumper cables. Some AAA tow truck guy told them one time, that’s what they should do from now on…”Always back in…just in case.”
Jeff… As I’ve explained before, it’s for safety. Everyone has those “sheep mobiles” these days (SUV’s for those not in the know) and you can’t see around or through them when you’re backing up. If you’ll take the time to notice, the majority of folks driving through parking lots take it as a speed challenge. They must drive through there as fast as possible, because, after all the World revolves around them. They pay no attention to others around them as they drive carelessly along. With backing in (I prefer the forward “pull-through” method), you’re body isn’t twisted around in an unnatural position. You’re facing forward and able to look both ways quicker than twisting your head around with your body following along.
Does this make sense? Or are you content knowing that one day you may find yourself uttering the words, “That asshole came out of nowhere when I was backing out.”
Another curious thing about the fucksticks who back into parking places, is that they will back into an angled parking place which is angled in a direction that forces them to leave in the opposite direction than is intended. This, of course, creates a traffic hazard. Watch and you will also notice an “I just poo pooed in my pants grin”
Thank you Eugene. As stated, the drive-through spot is always best.
Reason 1: see Eugene’s post, as a defensive driver it is a way of protecting my baby from careless idiots racing through parking lots.
Reason 2: it is better for the transmission, differrential and clutch (if applicable) You are reversing and backing up while the car is warmed up and the tranny/diff fluids are flowing nicely. Cold shifts are hard on the car. Backing in will extend the life of your driveline, especially if you live in a cold climate and will be parked for more than an hour. It may not seem like a big deal but 2-3 cold reverses per day over the life of the car adds up.
Reason 3: it is much faster to nose out of your spot, make eye contact with other drivers and pull into busy parking lot traffic than blindly backing out partway and waiting for things to clear.
p.s. I am not a hick or a cop and have only recently become a government worker, I’ve been backing into parking spots for 20 years. Call me a douche if you want, but I really like my car. I’m just an automobile enthusiast who follows driver etiquette. I bet you folks who always pull in nose first are the same one’s who never signal and who drive constantly in the passing lane on the freeway.
Your an idiot. If your experienced enough as a driver you would realize that backing in is safer and quicker when your good at it. It also, more importantly, shows that your more skilled than an idiot that backs out into traffic. Learn to think outside the box and realize that 99% of people in this world are followers and will die mindless like yourself. I bet you believe dinosaurs never existed and the bible is fact….
This blog is actually one of the more accurate explanations, in my opinion. It’s still lacking the fact that all of these douchebags that back in think that their car is so freakin’ great and it must be displayed for everyone to marvel at from the front.
This type of conspicuous consumer would especially be someone that leases a BMW and has an iPhone.
The people claim safety reasons are full of shit. No one would admit that they’re showing off a car that anyone else is entitled to own.
I have an F350 4 door long bed that I use for work, the crew cab for hauling around workers, and the long bed for hauling building supplies, tools, etc. I ALWAYS back in to places. The truck turns much tighter when in reverse. Try it for yourself. When the turning wheels are the trailing wheels, you are able to turn much tighter (if you ever see a forklift, the pivoting wheels are in the back). Once you learn how to judge space and use your mirrors, backing in is a lot easier to pull in and out of. I didn’t realise so many people got angry at this. But then again, perhaps its because they don’t understand. Just try it, you’ll see why. Much tighter turning radius.
I think you’re making alot of unfair assumptions about back-inners. Drivers for FedEx and UPS are also trained to back in, or go for a pull-through whenever possible. It’s so much more likely to back into someone or something because our heads don’t swivel around like a bird’s, nor do we have our eyes on either side of our heads like they do! I always feel like I’ve scored when I get a “pull-through” because a don’t like backing up in parking lots where so many jerks like to speed down the aisles like it’s a major thoroughfare. As a matter of fact, I’ve been backed into twice in parking lots and backed into someone else once in a parking lot. The only accidents I’ve ever been in. I do avoid backing into spaces so far, because I agree it tends to make one look like a douche-I don’t know why.
I work at a large UPS that has a parking lot filled with hundreds of cars. There are a lot of teenagers that drive 30 mph through the lot and make it difficult for people to reverse out of a spot. Also, about 30% of the employees own enormous trucks that make it impossible to see around. During the winter a driver’s visibility is lessened even more considerably. Combine all of these factors and backing-in becomes inevitable.
After I got used to backing into spots I realized the numerous advantages and seemingly perform this maneuver whenever possible. However, I do take care to notice other drives around me when backing-in. Not because I give a damn about their impatience, but because I fear that the person that was texting on their cell phone that just turned left with their right blinker on after driving over the line through a curved road and didn’t turn their lights on during a downpour is the one sitting behind me while I am reversing.
FYI, I drive a 1994 Toyota Camry so I could care less who gives a damn about how it looks.
I think Kevindust has been mislead by someone that told him shifting your car while it’s cold causes more wear, but he has no idea why. Some of this MIGHT have been true 50 years ago (but probably not). Not for modern cars/trucks.
Nothing about a transmission, clutch or differential wears more when it is cold. In fact, a hot clutch is more likely to get worn out. The more heat/friction there is, the more it can wear. Why do you think they call a worn out clutch “burned out”?
When gears in the transmission or differential are hot (like everything else), they expand. This means there is less clearance between them as they mesh together, and so, they are more likely to damage eachother due to interference. Also, the hotter the metal is, the less strength it has, again making damage more likely.
Plus any damage caused between gears at such low peeds as parking is miniscule compared to that of highway driving.
He sure sounded like he knew what he was talking about though, didn’t he? Yeah, that’s the kind of arrogant ass that backs in. . . unless you drive a pick-up with a large overhang, then you get a free pass to back in and keep that rig from sticking out.
Easy out. Its easier to pull out than back out. I get it if you arent skilled enough to back in.
I live in a townhouse community with a large parking lot. There are plenty of spots to choose from, so you’re not blocked by other cars being next to you when you back out to leave. Even though there is NO reason for it at all, I have one neighbor who ALWAYS parks backwards. He can leave for five minutes and then return, only to do it again. (He did this five times in an hour once) And what makes it completely insane to me is, HE SUCKS AT PARKING!!! It takes him at least three tries to get it, and most of the time he’s still crooked between the lines. He just traded in his pickup for a new sports car, which makes matters worse. Before it was just pointless ignorance, but now it’s loud and pointless ignorance. I only park backwards to load or unload something. Although I see the point behind some arguments I’ve heard that it’s safer to not back out as to avoid children, I logically see the contradiction in this theory… You’re still making a backwards movement into the space! To me the only difference is the extra effort and time it takes to back in. I know it would never be against the law, but it should be!
OMG it’s a good job you guys don’t live (and park) in the UK. People who can’t and won’t reverse park here are considered clueless asswipes who are unable to drive:P I mean WTF I can reverse park as fast as you can nose your car into a parking spot here in the UK (yeah we don’t have parking at angles here and spaces are made for the smallest car so it is FAR FAR easier to reverse in than to nose in
and I’m not kidding when I say that either !!:)
Bob – No you cant. It is simple math. In the time it takes you to pull past the parking spot and put your car in reverse to begin your backing procedure I have pulled into the same spot forward, got out of the car and flipped you off for being an idiot.
And I have been in European parking garages. It took forever because everyone was taking 10 times as long to back into their tiny spots as they would backing out. Also, when I had to load the trunk (boot to you) I had to squeeze to the back with everything I was caring, slide between the concrete wall and the back of the car just to be everything stowed.
Back-inners always focus on leaving and ignore everything else about the parking process. They must all be bank robbers.
I love this. You nailed it man; theatrics. I would be willing to bet most of these turds exit from their charriots donning Bluetooth headsets as well. I can kinda see the ‘large truck’ angle, but then again, a significant portion of ‘large truck’ drivers only bought the damn truck to make their balls feel bigger; they don’t actually need a truck at all.
And the best part, most of the defendants on here are making comments about skill level. If not directly saying it, the whole long-winded technical/mechanical reasonings for backing in serve as another platform for these douchebags to showcase their authority. Fuck you losers. If you want to stand out, learn some jokes or get a promotion or something. Backing-in to a parking spot is certifiably gay.
I don’t back into spots but am sure going to start doing so now. I had to get a jump start for my battery yesterday, and the fellow who helped me first had to push me (in neutral gear, natch) out of my spot. Fortunately, there was plenty of room in the parking lot. In a crowded lot this sure wouldn’t have worked very well at all.
It’s amazing how wound up the nose parkers are. It’s not only easier to leave but more importantly safer to drive head out into traffic. I’ve seen a few back out accidents where the backing up driver could see an oncoming car, while the car coming through was paying attention.
Either way, the time you save parking head first is lost when you need to be extra cautious when backing out. And don’t forget the extra time and money wasted when you accidentally back into oncoming traffic.
You people are all beating a dead horse. It’s not a matter of wear and tear of the vehicle or how fast you do it. It takes the same amount of time to park nose in or back in (you have to back up at some point). If the opportunity presents itself, without holding up traffic, choose to back in. When its time to leave, you can do so safer and more efficently. The vast majority of people out driving suck at it so I can see why there would be great resistance. I have 3 immaculate vehicles and backing in is not my opportunity to show them off. I go to car meets and shows for that. Backing in is my opportunity to protect my vehicle, and manuver it into the spot exactly where I want it. The original poster to this topic is a quack, who probably drives a rusty hunk of shit or some made in japan (or korea) plastic wind up toy and is pissed at the world
People, people, people.
Do you all need jobs, hobbies or just a good night’s sleep? Maybe a good lay.
It’s a large nation folks!!! And yeah, big enough for those who back up and those who pull in. Duschebagss? Assholes? Hicks? Bastards? Turds? Losers? Bank Robbers?
Kiss the initial bloggers ass? No thanks! I’d rather stamp her or his forehead with “MORON”.
I back into parking spaces because I can’t see over the other cars, SUVs and trucks until the lane is blocked when I have to back out. When I pull out forward, I can see much sooner.
Invariably, there’s always some entitlement-minded skinny snot-nosed douchebag in a tricked out rice grinder with toy wheels that constitutes an investment of his entire net worth for the next ten years who’s speeding down the lane when you back out.
If you pulled in forward, you’ll back into his path coming out because you can’t see past the Ford Excursion parked next to you until your car is blocking the lane. Of course, the douchebag will whine that it’s your fault because you were backing when the collision occurred.
When you’re backing into a space you can see everything behind you and be sure the snotty little douchebag behind you isn’t moving before you back in.
But I don’t expect the snotty little douchebags to comprehend these things. They’ll continue to whine about being late for their job at McDonald’s because they had to wait a few seconds for me to back into my space.
Listen here you single minded nit-wit.
Maybe if you read this article and not be so single minded, and pull your head outta your arse, you’d have a better understanding as to why it’s better to back in.
http://www.nashuatelegraph.com/news/910583-196/if-youre-parking-smart-youre-parking-backward.html
I just came back to this story and I have to laugh again about all the people singing the praises of backing in – specifically the ones mentioning that you see traffic better when you pull forward out of a spot. FYI – in most cars the drivers head is closer to the back bumper than the front. In other words you can actually see the traffic sooner backing out of a spot than pulling forward. No matter what car you drive though the drivers head is near the center of the car so there is really a negligible difference.
The only argument I have ever seen for backing in is the fact that if you need a jump start the battery is more accessible. This is true, but I have only needed a grand total of 1 jump starts in the past 10 years so it is not a very compelling reason.
One thing that no one has addressed is the fact that those who insist on backing in are requiring the rest of us to be mind readers. While you have pulled up as if you were pulling into a space across the isle I am suppose to know that you are not pulling into that space but actually backing into the other one. It would be one thing if there were an indictor to let us know but I for one was not born a mind reader. When a car is backing out of a space everyone knows this is your intention.
I love this!! All of my hillbilly neighbors back their big useless trucks into their driveways or illegally into the cul-de-sac.
It’s obvious to me that they only do it to be noticed as they certainly don’t need to make a quick getaway in Sellersville, PA located in Bucks County which is one of the safest areas in the suburbs of Philadelphia. They do it because they are HILLBILLIES! Did I mention that they all drive pick up trucks that have covers over the beds and/or short beds that NEVER carry any cargo?
People that back int parking spaces are just plain trailer trash!