10 Reasons I’m Thinking About Taking Up Weightlifting

2009 June 8
by mockers

weightlift10. I’ll be able to wear pastel tops with spaghetti straps, and nobody will think it’s gay.

9. I’ll be able to shave my armpits, and have conversations with other men about pit-shaving products, and nobody will think it’s gay.

8. I’ll be able to walk around in shiny pants that suction to my genitalia and butt crack, and nobody will think it’s gay.

7. I’ll be able to have a spotter stand so close to my face that I can feel his crotch heat, and nobody will think it’s gay.

6. I’ll be able to discuss current events with accomplished gentlemen in nothing but a jock-strap, and nobody will think it’s gay.

5. I’ll be able to thoroughly oil my rippling, hairless body, and nobody will think it’s gay.

4. I’ll be able to say things like “mind if I go a few reps on your curl bar?” and nobody will think it’s gay.

3. I’ll be able to compliment other men on their magnificent buttocks, and nobody will think it’s gay.

2. I’ll be able to spend my Saturday nights in an all-male setting, chinning & dipping, and nobody will think it’s gay.

1. I’ll be able to go downtown with my lifting friends and shop for posing suits, and nobody will think it’s even the slightest bit gay.

20 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 8

    OMG yes!!
    As an ex-personal trainer this made me laugh my ass off.

  2. 2009 June 8

    A few of my favs:
    “Spot me while I lift the left side of the gym”
    “God created Nautilus to keep the geeks off the barbells”
    Funny how I am now the geek

  3. 2009 June 8
    Funky permalink

    I think someone is trying to come out of the closet. Jeff? Metten?

  4. 2009 June 8

    So in other words, you want act gay, you just don’t want people to “think” your gay?

  5. 2009 June 8
    Knucklehead permalink

    I disagree. I still think it’s gay.

  6. 2009 June 8

    Pit shaving in the male of the species is most definately gay.

  7. 2009 June 8
    tadpolegal permalink

    Gay no matter what!

  8. 2009 June 8

    Yes, most certainly gay…

  9. 2009 June 8
    strangeart permalink

    This is definitely Metten. Jeff NEVER thinks about exercise, much less weight lifting, unless it concerns “lifting” up the golden elixir containment device up to his lips.

  10. 2009 June 8
    hardoxdan permalink

    No, it’s gay. Lift weights at home, why dress up with ballerina tights and go out in public looking like a fag.

  11. 2009 June 9

    As gay as all get out! lol

  12. 2009 June 9

    I know someone who does all of these things. Does this mean he’s gay? I wonder if his wife knows ?

  13. 2009 June 9
    Cosgrove permalink

    My brother, Ben, is a weight lifter, so I read this to him, replacing “I” with “Ben.” Oddly enough, he didn’t find it very funny.

  14. 2009 June 9

    Gay as Adam Lambert, it is.

  15. 2009 June 9
    J Shifty permalink

    I don’t care who thinks it’s gay, I just love saying the phrase “I’m going to blast my glutes”.

  16. 2009 June 9

    I cannot believe it was Jeff. Amazing.
    @jshifty sounds like he might be a gym rat. Cool.

  17. 2009 June 10
    Buck permalink

    Jeff isn’t gay, but he is a pussy. It’s well documented after years of anecdotal research. He can lift until he looks like Hulk Hogan and that Chinese lady that ruins your laundry could still kick his ass. However, Jeff ain’t gay–he has a map of the places he’s gotten laid (with FEMALES), that definitely ain’t gay.

    Buck Out

  18. 2009 June 10
    bennigan's nazi permalink

    Yeah, weightlifting is super gay. YOu might as well get a tattoo of a cock on your face or be from california or something.

  19. 2009 June 12
    Ana permalink

    Is shaving your pits and wearing pastels gay or Metrosexual!

  20. 2009 June 17
    Alan Langley permalink

    Weightlifting – almost as gay as this site

    Take that bitches


    Alan Langley

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