15 Things You Might Not Know About Roger

2009 June 15
by mockers
  • rogerHe was born with a row of seven penises.  His father chose “the keeper,” and the other six were removed.
  • When he was fifteen years old he fell down a flight of stairs, and believed he was a ladybug for the next three days.
  • He was born and raised in Chicago, Ohio, and now lives in St. Louis, Tennessee.
  • He cannot pronounce capital letters.
  • His all-time favorite television show is “Eischied.”
  • He starts every day with a root beer float enema.
  • At one point he was engaged to a woman he met at a meeting of the “born with multiple penises” support group.
  • For eighteen months he played bass guitar in a Crowded House tribute band.
  • He doesn’t own a single pair of shoes with laces.
  • Every two years he has to have his lungs rotated.
  • During the summer of 1997 he seriously considered a race-change operation; even now he has a powerful urge to get himself permanently “Chinesed-up.”
  • Despite being a devout heterosexual, there’s a hint of sashay in his walk.
  • He once got choked on a crouton, and went over a porch railing.
  • For many years he was plagued by a recurring nightmare, in which he’s enjoying a steak and lobster dinner at an expensive restaurant.  The meal is delicious, but every time he takes a bite, another penis erupts from his body.
  • He has never knowingly eaten an olive.

You guys know Roger pretty well.  Use the comments to tell us more about him.  He’s a very interesting man!

Also, please note that the mockers are now soliciting submissions from guest-mockers.  On Fridays we’d like to feature mocks from the readership.  And that’s you!

Send your homegrown blasts of mockery to mockable [at] gmail.com  Needless to say, we reserve the right to approve or reject all submissions.  But I have a feeling we’ll be fairly lenient…  So get busy mockin’!

And we’ll see you next time.

18 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 15
    Juancho permalink

    Roger invented the counter-mounted electric can-opener.

  2. 2009 June 15
    JoJo permalink

    He has often felt that his father chose the wrong ‘keeper’, and has thus always resented his father for this reason.

  3. 2009 June 15
    Jerry in WV permalink

    Uh………….usually, funny………Today, just stupid.

  4. 2009 June 15


    And following Freudian example, Roger has the most hatred for his mother for supporting his fathers decision to keep the wrong ‘keeper’ — But enjoys wonderful sexual relations with her none-the-less.

  5. 2009 June 15
    Knucklehead permalink

    Roger co-wrote Rick Nelson’s hit song “Garden Party” but was not credited due to fallout from Rick finding out Roger was having an affair with his wife.

  6. 2009 June 15
    Alan Langley permalink

    More weakness from the lilly livered pussies at mockable.org

    Muffin and Jay Gay strike again.

    Roger looks damn good in lederhosen.


    How is that for some guest mocking?

  7. 2009 June 15
    Alan Langley permalink

    Your html is broken, muffin! Better contact Jay Gay in the butthole surfing bunker and get him to fix it!

  8. 2009 June 15

    Do we know Roger?

  9. 2009 June 15

    Is not allergic to B’s. Honey, Arthur, Bumble, Plus, or otherwise.

  10. 2009 June 15
    Mike permalink

    Roger farts every half hour. The farts smell like moth balls.

  11. 2009 June 16
    kristin permalink

    roger has a mole shaped like bea arther on his left butt cheek.

  12. 2009 June 16
    kristin permalink

    roger has a mole shaped like bea arthur on his left butt cheek.

  13. 2009 June 16
    kristin permalink

    crap…i was just trying to correct my spelling. stupid roger.

  14. 2009 June 16

    The six removed penisis went on to form musical group Menudo.

  15. 2009 June 16

    …that’s “penises”.

  16. 2009 June 16
    JoJo permalink

    I am still mad at Roger for breaking up the Beatles

  17. 2009 June 16

    Roger once sold Richard Gere a hamster

  18. 2012 August 21
    Bill in WV permalink

    Roger once won a Kellogg’s Cornflake competition.

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