15 Things You Might Not Know About Roger
2009 June 15
He was born with a row of seven penises. His father chose “the keeper,” and the other six were removed.
- When he was fifteen years old he fell down a flight of stairs, and believed he was a ladybug for the next three days.
- He was born and raised in Chicago, Ohio, and now lives in St. Louis, Tennessee.
- He cannot pronounce capital letters.
- His all-time favorite television show is “Eischied.”
- He starts every day with a root beer float enema.
- At one point he was engaged to a woman he met at a meeting of the “born with multiple penises” support group.
- For eighteen months he played bass guitar in a Crowded House tribute band.
- He doesn’t own a single pair of shoes with laces.
- Every two years he has to have his lungs rotated.
- During the summer of 1997 he seriously considered a race-change operation; even now he has a powerful urge to get himself permanently “Chinesed-up.”
- Despite being a devout heterosexual, there’s a hint of sashay in his walk.
- He once got choked on a crouton, and went over a porch railing.
- For many years he was plagued by a recurring nightmare, in which he’s enjoying a steak and lobster dinner at an expensive restaurant. The meal is delicious, but every time he takes a bite, another penis erupts from his body.
- He has never knowingly eaten an olive.
You guys know Roger pretty well. Use the comments to tell us more about him. He’s a very interesting man!
Also, please note that the mockers are now soliciting submissions from guest-mockers. On Fridays we’d like to feature mocks from the readership. And that’s you!
Send your homegrown blasts of mockery to mockable [at] gmail.com Needless to say, we reserve the right to approve or reject all submissions. But I have a feeling we’ll be fairly lenient… So get busy mockin’!
And we’ll see you next time.
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Roger invented the counter-mounted electric can-opener.
He has often felt that his father chose the wrong ‘keeper’, and has thus always resented his father for this reason.
Uh………….usually, funny………Today, just stupid.
@JoJo
And following Freudian example, Roger has the most hatred for his mother for supporting his fathers decision to keep the wrong ‘keeper’ — But enjoys wonderful sexual relations with her none-the-less.
Roger co-wrote Rick Nelson’s hit song “Garden Party” but was not credited due to fallout from Rick finding out Roger was having an affair with his wife.
More weakness from the lilly livered pussies at mockable.org
Muffin and Jay Gay strike again.
Roger looks damn good in lederhosen.
[img]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/archive/pigman.jpg[/img]
How is that for some guest mocking?
Your html is broken, muffin! Better contact Jay Gay in the butthole surfing bunker and get him to fix it!
Do we know Roger?
Is not allergic to B’s. Honey, Arthur, Bumble, Plus, or otherwise.
Roger farts every half hour. The farts smell like moth balls.
roger has a mole shaped like bea arther on his left butt cheek.
roger has a mole shaped like bea arthur on his left butt cheek.
crap…i was just trying to correct my spelling. stupid roger.
The six removed penisis went on to form musical group Menudo.
…that’s “penises”.
I am still mad at Roger for breaking up the Beatles
Roger once sold Richard Gere a hamster
Roger once won a Kellogg’s Cornflake competition.