8 Reasons Hall & Oates Are Better Than Chronic Respiratory Disease

2009 April 23
by mockers


  • The 1980 hit single “Kiss on My List” will often make a person tap their foot and hum along, while tuberculosis can cause a person to expel great quantities of blood and mucus.
  • Hall & Oates have sold over 60 million albums worldwide, and mesothelioma can lead to a build-up of fluid between the lung and chest wall.
  • The phrase “Transbronchial Lung Biopsy (No Can Do)” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
  • “Sara Smile” was Hall & Oates’ first top-ten hit, and was written about Daryl Hall’s then-girlfriend, Sara Allen.  Conversely, emphysema killed Dick York.
  • “One on One” includes several mixed-references to basketball and romance, and is often used in TV commercials for the NBA.  “Black Lung,” on the other hand, is caused by extended exposure to coal dust, and has never been widely embraced by the professional sports community.
  • Cystic Fibrosis is known as CF, which is fairly unimaginative.  But Hall & Oates had an album called H2O, and that’s kinda cool, when you stop and think about it.
  • Hall & Oates’ music is frequently described as “blue-eyed soul,” while a case of pneumonia will cause a person to hock up a load of “green-ass shit.”
  • Lung cancer is the most deadly of all cancers.  Once “Maneater” gets in your head, it’s impossible to shake, as well.  However, the music of Hall & Oates rarely, if ever, leads to hospice care.
9 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 April 23
    tadpolegal permalink

    I like Old Hall & Oates.

  2. 2009 April 23
    kristin permalink

    hall & oates is not, however, cooler than asthma. because asthma has four consonants in a row.

  3. 2009 April 23
    Limey permalink

    The diner on the cover of Abandoned Luncheonette is down the road from my home. It’s been refurbished (thankfully) since the cover photo was taken. It was probably full of mesothelioma causing asbestos, to keep on subject.

  4. 2009 April 23
    Jill permalink

    I just spit my gum at my computer I was laughing so hard…

    Darn it, now I have “Kiss On My List” stuck in my head!!!!!!!!

  5. 2009 April 23
    JoJo permalink

    Hall and Oates was a truly great band. I am still angry at Yoko ono for breaking them up.

  6. 2009 April 23

    Must admit I’d always wondered which was cooler, and thanks to Mockable.org, now I know!

    Thanks Mockable!

  7. 2009 April 23

    If it weren’t for the insistent radio air play back in the 80’s, I would still enjoy hearing them. Now they sound like mosquito ringtones. Tells you what radio stations I use to listn to back in the 80’s, now it’s all talk radio. Damn you Bob and Tom…

  8. 2009 April 23
    Ederd permalink

    Funny as hell!

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