A Fantastic Tale of the Paranormal

2010 January 6
by mockers

I am using an assumed name on this article, because of the controversial nature of what it contains.  I am not a coward, far from it, but I am also not a fool.  I believe it is my responsibility to dispense the following information, nothing else.  I see no reason to put my family at risk, by exposing my identity unnecessarily.

I will be called a crackpot, you see, and a charlatan.  People will say I have ulterior motives, and claim that I concocted the story via an overactive imagination.  If the article finds a large audience, the United States government will likely step in, and attempt to discredit the author and make him look like a finger-sniffing fool.

Indeed, I am aware of people in similar situations, whose lives were completely destroyed after they revealed the truth.  Believe me when I tell you, there are forces – powerful forces – that do not want you to hear the story I’m about to tell.  And they will stop at nothing to convince you it’s hogwash.  NOTHING!

My odyssey began at a Super K-Mart, located in the suburbs of a medium-sized northeastern U.S. city.  I was there buying deodorant and a whole pineapple.  But I digress.  I was near the Little Debbie endcap, when I noticed movement in my peripheral vision.  And when I turned to look, the impossible adventure began.

Just a few feet away from me, no more than twenty yards, stood what appeared to be a slim teenaged girl, with her back to me.  There was something about her that captured my attention, and I probably held my gaze a beat or two longer than normal.

Then it turned, and I gasped with horror and surprise.

This was no teenager.  In fact, I am fully convinced it was something paranormal, not of this world.  The thing had the body of a tenth grade soccer star, and the hideous head of a fifty year old bar hag!  It was like something from Greek mythology, or any number of Hollywood science fiction films.

Our eyes locked for a few terrifying seconds, and I stood frozen, staring at its horrible cigarette and bourbon-ravaged skin.  It squinted at me, as if it were not used to bright lights.  And yet its breasts were perky, its belly flat.

My brain had trouble processing the improbable information my eyes were feeding it…

Then it was gone!  As I continued to stare, the creature bolted — in the general direction of the Cafe and store exit.  Oh no!

I knew nobody would ever, in a million years, believe what I’d just seen.  I needed to photograph it.  Frankly I’m surprised I had the presence of mind to realize this, the shock was so great.  And yet I began tracking the creature, cell phone in hand.

I realized that the thing was incredibly fleet of foot.  Only seconds after it left me, it was nowhere to be found.  How did it depart the area so quickly?  This fact added to my sense of fear and dread.

Then I saw it move, in silhouette, past the tire department.  Oh my God!!  I approached it, not knowing its temperament, and started snapping photographs.  And the beast turned its yellow eyes toward me, and made a horrible sound with its ravaged throat.  Something like, “What the fuck?”

And then it was gone again.

Later I almost caught up with the creature once more, when I heard it making a sound reminiscent of a human coughing fit.  But when I arrived there, my heart hammering in my chest, it had already moved-on.

I know it will be difficult for some of you to believe this story — especially since my photographs aren’t very clear (I’ve included the best above).  But I have no reason to make it up; my real name isn’t even attached to this article.

Please know that I have never been associated with paranormal studies or conspiracy theories, and don’t even possess the kind of imagination that could conceive of such a tale.  I realize you don’t know me, but if you did… there would be no doubt in your mind that what I am telling you today is the complete truth.

Friends… we are not alone!  Fantastic and impossible creatures are moving, effortlessly, among us every day of the week.  This is something the governments of the world know, but consistently deny.  Indeed, they willingly destroy the people who attempt to reveal the truth.

And now if you’ll excuse me, I need a drink.  Just reliving the horror of that day, for the purpose of writing this article, has rattled me greatly.

Take care, and for the love of God, be careful!

Sincerely, L.L.L. Anderson

One Response leave one →
  1. 2010 January 7
    Nikki permalink

    Congratulations! You’ve spotted a butterface, as in “but her FACE!” The beauty of their bodies is only matched by the hideousness of their faces. Some semi-famous butterfaces include heiress Courtenay Semel (female) and Jersey Shore star “The Situation” (male).

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