…and I’m Back

2011 January 5
by mockers

Hey everyone…metten here.  This site has now officially been dormant for the better part of a year…and that’s unfortunate.  There is some stuff here that I am really proud of.   Jeff and I agreed at 0ne point after we closed up shop that it would be wrong just to leave this site unattended like the time we left gramma at the amtrak  station after realizing we couldn’t afford the old folks’ home anymore.  We were going to memorialize.  We were going to commemorate.  We were going to focus our energies elsewhere and then come back to mockable.  Well .5 out of 3 ain’t bad.

Jeff is off selling books, eating cold fish eggs and hanging out with Revlon models.  I remain here for you though…refreshed and ready to rock.  I propose we open the throttle on this bitch and see what this kickass friggin domain can do.  I propose this because I love you guys and I love mockable way too much to just leave it dangling in the wind like some sort of device manufactured for some important purpose that found itself repurposed so that it might dangle…in the wind…Shit…this isn’t starting out well.

Despite the cruel neglect,  Jeff and I really loved the premise around this site.  In fact, we guessed that if the writing was good enough that mockable’s popularity might someday come to rival the surf report.  Sadly, this did not come to pass.  However, we’ve still got a good lookin’ domain that continually averages a few dozen unique hits a day and a bunch of folks who were kind enough to continue to subscribe to the feed (Hi guys! **waves**).

I still to have a lot to say and I am perpetually passionate about mocking the living shit out of people.  I also have stuff that I’m trying to get published…so what do you guys say? The new mockable will probably be a little more blogish and a little less funny.  It will feature fiction, classic-style mocks and reports from my fucked up life.  If you guys write guest mocks, I’ll publish them (pursuant to the same rules).  As a wise man once said, it takes a village to write a really good dick joke…that village is still here.  Wanna use it?

13 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 January 5
    Funky permalink

    Welcome back! I can’t wait!

  2. 2011 January 5
    Lori in Cbus permalink

    woohoooo! can’t wait either! i’m going to reread all the old mockables to get revved up again. thanks metten!

  3. 2011 January 5
    pdparrot5 permalink

    Use it, abuse it, make it your bitch.

  4. 2011 January 6
    Big Bear in OH permalink

    …I knew this day would come–and I am excited for it. I’m back in for guest mocks if you want them (need them, got to have them).

  5. 2011 January 6
    Brown Walker permalink

    Word, Cotton!

  6. 2011 January 6
    kristin permalink


  7. 2011 January 6
    kristin permalink

    And to celebrate, I share this, for no reason other than my coworkers and I have been in hysterics over it for the last 20 minutes:

  8. 2011 January 6
    Valentin permalink


  9. 2011 January 7

    Glad you’re back M. Let’s begin:

    A dick walks into a bar….

  10. 2011 January 7
    squawvalleyskip permalink

    Waiting (im)patiently for the next installments. Another fan who’s glad you’re back, metten. So, if we all comment and don’t make you feel alone this time will you stick around and entertain us for a while? As I recall, you and Jeff decided to go away last time do to lack of hits, or lack of comments or somesuch shit. I was one of the guilty parties, reading and slinking away. Mostly because I naver have anything of substance to contribute. But if you stick around, I’ll stick around with you. Of that, you can be sure. And Kristin, intersesting link. Wonder how he was going to convince his EX- girlfriend to let him use a probably very homemade looking , trigger operated vibrator on her. I, for one, would love to see a picture of the women involved in this story. But then again, we probably all have, on the People Of Wal-Mart site.

  11. 2011 January 7
    metten permalink

    Thanks everyone. The reason we took the site down was that it took a lot of time to make it not suck (in my opinion anyway, some people thought it was always shitty) and both of us were committed to multiple other things…if you read the last few weeks before we pulled the plug, it was nothing but guest mocks and pure, uncut suckery (from me anyway). It just seemed like a better idea to kill it than to let it continue to spiral into crap. What I didn’t realize was that not writing anything would cause me to go insane. So I am back…and I am grateful that you are too.

    About the requests for comment – I don’t mean to sound like a whiny bitch and comments aren’t required or anything…I am not going to take down the site, sit in a corner and start cutting or anything…but it is much easier to write the next post if it feels like someone is willing to interact.

  12. 2011 January 7

    W/B Metten. i am playing catchup.

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