C’mon…Mockable Ain’t Never Hurt Nobody…Wait, Oh Yeah…

I write to you today from the safety of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer.  It’s the only browser that I know of that will allow me access to Mockable in its original form.  Everything else either leads me to a page with a big giant X over it or a skull and crossbones or something equally menacing.  Even if you ignore all their warnings and go through to the site, all of the CSS is disabled – making it look like the Prodigy home page from 1994. I never imagined a scenario where I would have to run to the welcoming, safe arms of the Microsoft corporation…yet here I am.  I am just an employee here – a third party observer – but I understand it to have gone down thusly:

Some little prick in a Russian coffee bar gained access to this page and others.  All links that automatically publish when the site(s) are updated were redirected to an attack page that featured Communist vaginas. Being a fan of vaginas of all political ideologies, I tried to remain optimistic.  I told my boss that naked chicks employed by the Russian mafia were way better than fake Rolexes or fake Viagra.  For those of you who know the guy that owns this site, you can imagine that he did not respond favorably to my optimism. Anywhoo, it took a couple of days for Smoking Fish to dispatch their team of highly trained web site cleaners to extract the unwanted redirects and return the sites to their proper operating condition.  Sadly, by then the nice folks at Google had decided that we were either 1) in cahoots with the Russians or 2) too dumb to own an internet site.

Now let me be clear on this one – I don’t blame Google for doing what they did.  The site was clearly compromised and Google needs to protect people’s grandmothers so they can be free to buy stuff from Google Product Search without fear of being redirected to pinko poon. However, their action does represent a significant additional hurdle to restoring things back to the way they were.  Basically, the site(s) need to be double checked to make sure everything is clean and safe – then we need to ask really nicely for them to review our site and declare it free of Bolshevist boobies.  Only then will we be kosher with the parts of the internet that aren’t owned by Bill Gates. Please wish us luck.

In the meantime, we might be offline for a bit…which really sucks.  I don’t really know for sure…it’s not up to me.  It’s funny though, I figured that with the amount of fun we poke at people we’d eventually piss off Anonymous or some other powerful internet force.  I never figured it would be the Russians…especially considering how much I love Yakov Smirnoff.  I hope to see you guys soon.

Lakr – you still have to write something.