Daycare: One Big Mockable Screwjob

2009 March 31
by mockers
Okay kids, stand here and face the wall.  I'm gonna go bend your dads over and take their wallets

Okay kids, stand here and face the wall. I'm gonna go bend your dads over and take their wallets

My kids go to a daycare a couple of times a week.  It comes  highly recommended and the kids seem to have an okay time there.  Sometimes they come home with papers showing that they attempted to trace a letter here and there.  They also send home a calendar that tells what the kids are supposed to have been doing all week.  The “teachers” (read babysitters) do their best to pretend that the place is a school, but every time I walk in there, the scene is the same…

Most of the kids are concentrating on whatever it is that the “teacher” is trying to do…then there’s another kid off in the corner eating paste…and another kid in the back of the room beating up a smaller kid and taking their toys…and finally the smelly kid sitting at the table with the other kids, oblivious to whatever’s going on – picking his nose and depositing boogers everywhere.

For this service, I pay about as much as my monthly house payment.  And that would be okay if that was all I had to pay. But noooooo!!!  I get hit with summer activity fees, a fee for the goddamned clown that is coming to perform (man, do I hate clowns), I pay extra if I want my kid to screw around on a piano keyboard once a week, there’s a surcharge for ‘computer tots” – I’m going friggin’ nuts here.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, they then have the nerve to ask you to bring treats on unofficial holidays…there’s even a sign-up sheet.  The last one (St. Patrick’s Day) had us down for a relish tray.  A RELISH TRAY?  The kid’s five years old – what the hell is she going to do with a relish tray?  And the absolute best part (I swear to God I am not making this up) – the sign-up sheet for the Spring party had a space for “Parent Helpers”.  That’s right, the place that I plunk down several hundred dollars a month to make sure that someone halfway competent babysits my young children while I work WAS SOLICITING ME TO COME AND BABYSIT MY OWN CHILDREN WHILE I PAID THEM TO BABYSIT!!!  Nobody at work even seemed to think that this was odd.    These people are brainwashed!!  It’s like me paying a hooker to watch me…well, you get it.

Just this morning my daughter’s teacher handed me a green cloth bag.  I held it up, checked it over for explosives or whatever and said, “What’s with the bag?” She informed me that it was a ‘treat sack’ and I was officially charged with the task of filling the ‘treat sack’ and bringing it back so that they could have ‘treats’.  That’s the last straw.  I’m going to take a dump in that sack, take it into the ‘classroom’ and shove it into the lady’s drawers.  Then I’m taking my kids out of that place and I’m going to fight  each and every person in the building.  Then I’ll force open their safe and take my money back.  And then I’ll pay a hooker to watch me…sorry.  Nevermind.   I didn’t really mock anybody there did I?  Again, sorry.  Maybe next time.

10 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 March 31
    Greg permalink

    Give ’em an inch, and they’ll take a mile. If you’re really unhappy with the service, talk to some of your friends with kids in daycare and ask whom they use. Word of mouth advertising is probably best when you’re thinking about quality of care, safety, and everything else involved when other people care for your children. Of course, the good ones may not have an opening.

  2. 2009 March 31
    Melissa permalink

    Welcome to the land of Day Care. I hate to sound all Dr. Laura-ish but it is probably the one thing I can agree with her on. Those places are nothing but germ infested institutions geared towards taking your money and not putting it in the best interest of your child.
    I’d start looking for little old ladies or someone more private (less kids, in their home) that you can meet, get to know and see if you can trust. They’d probably charge much less and care for your kid(s) a whole lot more. Ask around people in your office, or have your wife do the same. My brother found a wonderful old woman by doing this who takes care of my nephew. She loves him a whole lot and every birthday and Christmas he’s loaded with gifts. Kinda like a third grandma.
    Good luck, Metten. (Ahem)

  3. 2009 March 31

    Be glad you don’t pay child support to some worthless bitch that uses childcare services as an excuse to extort more money from you. Not only are you paying the skank to smoke crack, you’re also paying one (or allegedly paying) of these mafia organizations as well. Thanks Dept. of Job and Family services for screwing us all…YOU are truly mockable as well!

  4. 2009 March 31
    TxTy permalink

    All right! Ringo’s in the lead @t 58%!

  5. 2009 March 31

    This is why my best friend has cared for my kid all of these years, rather than a day care. She required much less money-wise, and the benefits were beyond description.

    My kid went to kindergarten knowing how to read, color within the lines – and FOLLOW RULES.

  6. 2009 March 31

    Sam, did you marry my ex-sister in law?
    What a see you next tuesday.

  7. 2009 March 31

    That caption beneath the picture had me rolling!

    I have been a stay at home mom, so no day care woes for me!

  8. 2009 March 31

    I am surprised that more people haven’t come to the conclusion that if they don’t make over 100k a year day care isn’t worth it–you merely work to pay daycare!

    T-storm: Surely your sister-in-law isn’t as bad as what I ‘aquired’ !

  9. 2009 March 31
    Joe permalink

    Sam– I’m with ya…my ex bag had our son in a place costing $600 a month that she was always late paying causing me to get calls constantly, plus the bag wasn’t even working…WTF..

  10. 2012 September 5
    Provider permalink

    I own and direct a daycare, children learn and have fun. My parents love me because they have seen how far their children have grown in my daycare. I know there are some daycare’s out there that need to be out of business, but for the most part there are excellent daycare’s. You have to find one that you love. I tell my parents to surprise visit my program and see what goes on in my daycare. Try that and if things aren’t to your liking report the daycare and find one that lives up to their and your standards.

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