Due to the high cost of intergalactic surveillance, and hard times everywhere, we here at Mockable dot org have decided to aid our alien friends by serving as field agents.
The observation of human activity must surely be an expensive proposition, and we are interested in helping defray some of those costs. Therefore, we will be offering a series of reports, explaining in simple terms what must be completely baffling to visitors from other galaxies.
Our goal is to be a fully-integrated planet Earth solution, and an indispensable resource for the alien on a budget!
Walter E. Disney was the original inspiration behind Tony Montana, the principal character in the 1983 crime drama Scarface. It has been said that Disney’s willingness to do anything for money and power first attracted Director Brian De Palma to the film. It was eventually determined that while the principal character’s ruthlessness and anger were a sufficient backdrop for the dark piece, the cartoon characters were a little fruity.
Say hello to my little friends...there's Happy and Grumpy and...
It was at this point that De Palma brought writer Oliver Stone on board to substitute any “cartoon violence” for “cocaine violence” as well as change all references of “manipulating the world’s children” to “selling cocaine to poor people”. Stone also reconstructed Ubbe Iwerks into Frank Lopez and Lillian Bounds into Elvira Hancock. In a final stroke of genius and symbolism, Stone transformed Disney’s legendary hatred of Jews into Tony Montana’s hatred of people who tried to get with his kid sister. In exchange for his efforts, Oliver Stone was allowed to use the medium of film to be a condescending douchebag for the rest of his life.
It is said that after shooting was completed, De Palma decided that he would never be able to sleep soundly again if he left the real-life ending in tact. This ending, of course, saw Disney laughing maniacally while chain smoking and rolling around in cash. De Palma allegedly wanted people to believe that there were indeed consequences for their actions and called the cast and crew back together to shoot a final showdown between Montana and Alejandro Sosa’s henchmen. It is said that De Palma found the scene “appropriate and surprisingly climactic.”
It is widely agreed by industry experts that the decision to reshoot the ending not only saved De Palma’s career, but served to make him the single most popular director within the biopic genre.
I hope this report proves helpful. I will be standing in line, waiting to get into hell in case you should have follow-up questions. This concludes today’s broadcast by Agent 8675309.
Loading ...
Wow – I totally love the subtle ref to Tommy Tutone – I just caught that one now!
I made a Tommy Tutone reference? Where? It must have been so subtle that even I didn’t recognize it. Oh, and btw – screw you guys, I thought it was hilarious – metten