Friday Guest Mock: The friend who hasn’t seen the movie yet.

2009 August 7
by mockers

spoiler_alertThis weekly installment of our Guest Mock series is being handled by our pal T-storm.  He doesn’t seem to have a site to plug or anything like that so it’s the least you can friggin’ do to drop the guy a comment… jeez.

And now for the cruel, cruel mockery…. 

Didn’t you love the part in Transformers when the SR-71….
(with fingers in the ears)
I haven’t seen it yet.
Well, didn’t you love that part in Terminator Salvation when John Connor….
(with fingers in the ears)
I haven’t seen it yet.
Man, that part in Scarface when the guy got attacked by a chain…..
(with fingers in the ears)
I haven’t seen it yet!
When Darth Vader was like….
(with fingers in the ears)
Listen, just because you haven’t seen a movie in the past fifteen years doe…..
Hey, I saw UP and Confessions of a Shopgirl
Just because you haven’t seen a movie that any of your friends have seen or want to see since the Clinton administration doesn’t mean that I have to tip toe around your non-movie going ass.
Darth Vader is Luke’s dad, Leia is Luke’s sister, Dinero dies at the end of Heat, Bruce Willis is already dead, Tom Hanks dies of AIDS, Lucas gets tackled, the Goonies save the Goondocks, Cameron wrecks his dad’s car, Apollo 13 returns safely to Earth, Ripley lives, then dies, then lives, the Blair Witch isn’t real, Senator Palpatine is the Emperor, Peter Parker is Spiderman, and Wolverine was a let down.
There, now shut the hell up and go see a movie already, or just shut the hell up.

If you’d like to contribute a Friday Guest Mock please send it to mockable[at]  If it’s funny and won’t get us sued, we’ll most likely feature it at the site.  And don’t forget to include the address to your blog or website, so we can link back at ya.  Thanks!

13 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 August 7

    So, you didn’t see Star Trek, well it starts out like this. Yeah, like you thought I would gave it up. Go see the damn movie will ya.

  2. 2009 August 7
    Limey permalink

    Very good.

    The worst for me is The Sopranos. I watched and enjoyed the first season, then fell behind on the second season and stopped watching it altogether with the intention of watching the whole thing in sequence at some point, when I have time. Like when I’m recovering from leukemia or something. Trouble is half my family is from New Jersey and you try stopping them talking about who Greasy Guido choked to death with a Sopressata at the Bada Bing last night…

  3. 2009 August 7
    WB in OH permalink

    Thanks alot T-storm, just saved me about a hundred bucks in DVD rental!

  4. 2009 August 7

    You forgot one, Charlie gets the chocolate factory!

    Shit, I’m old as dirt…

    BTW, everyone think about the Oompa Loompa song and maybe it will stay in yer head all weekend! BBWWWWHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  5. 2009 August 7

    Skully, you are an asshole, Man!

  6. 2009 August 7

    Rantable, yes.

    As the one who JUST saw Breakfast Club for the first time ever about a month ago (and I’m 47!), I could be the one you’re mocking. Doesn’t matter. Mock away.

  7. 2009 August 9

    It’s a rare day that I give a crap about any movie. The last one I could sit thru was Fargo. So go ahead and tell me; I won’t be listening anyway.

  8. 2009 August 9
    Sam permalink

    I agree with you T-Storm! If you’re looking forward to seeing a movie, and you don’t want to be the victim of an accidental spoiler, than see it as soon as possible after it comes out, i.e. within two, three, FOUR?? weeks of the release. Otherwise, deal with the fact that people will be discussing it in social situations and suck it up.

  9. 2009 August 10

    I’m not a big movie goer. Goer? Is that a word? In any event, I watch movies on DVD and cable from time to time. The cool thing is that I can watch a movie and then, like, ten weeks later, forget the whole plot and watch it again wondering what is going to happen.

    Just watched the Billy Bob Thorton version of The Bad News Bears, plus the first Tom Cruise remake of Mission Impossible, and enjoyed them both thoroughly.

    And nice mock T-Storm. Look forward to the next…

  10. 2009 August 10

    Oh, and the Bad News Bears lose the championship game. And Tom Cruise solves the Mole Hunt and gets the NOC List. Not even an exploding helicopter in a train tunnel can stop him.

  11. 2009 August 12
    bikerchick permalink

    …..and in Psycho (the original), Anthony Perkins is his own mother; Michael Corleone gets “pulled back in” just when he thought he was out; and “no one puts Baby in a corner”.

  12. 2009 August 17
    Tim permalink

    Goose dies.

  13. 2009 August 18
    BKB permalink

    Soylent Green is people.

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