I Wrote This at Work

2009 July 1
by mockers

princess_diana_0Everything’s in the way right now, so this is gonna be hella short and probably not funny…sorry:

I am writing this at work ’cause I can’t get a second to write anywhere else.  Let me tell you, when you’re sick of the place like I am, nothing says “I promise I’m working” better than the rapid clicking of the keyboard.  Nobody can accuse you of not working when you bash the keyboard at high speed.  I hit the keys harder when at work so that everybody in the office can hear just what a hard worker I am. That’s the number one way that I get by without doing much.  Usually I’m working on some writing endeavor, or sending random e-mails to strangers, such as this one:

To: princess@yahoo.com
From: mockers
Subject:  Holy crap!

Message:  Hi!  I’m mockers.  I was just curious…what year did you set up this yahoo account?  I’d imagine that it must have been a long time ago considering all the princess189763’s I encounter in my internet travels.  Are you now an old princess?  I have so many questions for you, the original princess@yahoo.com. I would really appreciate any information you are willing to share in regard to this matter.  Thank you and I look forward to your reply.

I realize that it’s the internet equivalent of dialing 867-5309 and asking for Jenny, but despite how juvenile and childish the whole thing is, I just can’t stop.  And all the while the keys are clicking as though I am composing some important report.  If you’re curious, princess hasn’t responded yet, and she probably won’t.  Maybe you guys can help me out with some more historically important email addresses.  Aren’t you curious to know what the original cowgirl@lycos.com is up to? 

Finally, I’ve got a salesman named Tim Taylor who calls on a regular basis and tries to sell me stuff.  I find it hard to listen because I’m always thinking of the horrible “Tool Time” bits that come on after Nickelodeon mercifully shuts down for the night.  I’m curious, does anyone else have to talk to people with famous names at their job?  Okay, I’m going back to actual work.  I’ll try to do better next time.  Honestly, you guys should be thanking me.  I came really close to posting an excert from one of my “books” instead.



6 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 July 1
    squawvalleyskip permalink

    Wow. 1?

  2. 2009 July 1

    Two of the “Famous” people that work here:

    George Jones
    Anthony Hopkins

    I know there is another one but I can’t remember them right now.

  3. 2009 July 1

    Aha! I remember now:

    James Brown

  4. 2009 July 1

    Nobody with a famouse name, but we do have a Michael L Hunt. Does that count?

  5. 2009 July 2
    WVULauren permalink

    I was good friends with Michael Jordan in college and I work with Sarah McLachlan. Neither one find their “fame” enjoyable.

  6. 2009 July 10
    SeeKar permalink

    I work with Wayne Williams (prolific child killer here in Atlanta in the 70’s) and Ty Cobb is a member of my church. Wayne is not amused when comparisons are made.

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS