It’s About Time We Finally Get Around to Madonna
Come and give nanna a kiss
I know that I’m gonna get called out for going after the low hanging fruit…but damn. People like Madonna are the reason this site exists.
This woman met every definition of terrible in 1983. Twenty-six years later she’s even worse…except now she looks like Skeletor’s grandmother.
I told you honey - shiny metal over your unibrow will make it look stylish...
So anyway, this isn’t really all that relevant anymore because it happened last November, but I did want to share how Madonna ruined my life with something other than her shrill voice, goofy dancing and oddly shaped areolae. Back then she was working through her divorce from Guy Ritchie and according to The Daily Mail she imposed the following rules on him during a visit from their children:
You're setting unreasonable standards here, bitch
My wife figured that if Madonna can boss around the guy who made Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels like some little bitch, she can certainly tell me to put the goddamned toilet seat down. I woke up one morning after the piece ran and I found this taped to my forehead:
I drew the picture to make it look more like Madonna's. Lord, Jesus I wish my wife didn't have such giant forearms
With the new rules in place, I can’t even think of a reason to go on living.
In summary – she ruined my life, her music is terrible and she fucked Vanilla Ice…a lot. Madonna is likely the most mockable humanoid on the planet.
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Great post! I especially enjoyed the pictures of Madonna with the captions beneath them. I’m a huge fan of that kind of humor.
I’m definitely adding this to my blog roll!
Great choice for mockable!
It’s all about her. She believes she is the epicenter of the universe.
My friend was the illustrator of her children’s book, “Mr. Peabody’s Apples.”
She was on Jay Leno to promote it. He was raving about the artwork and she gave Jay a print of one of the interior spreads.
She never once mentioned who the illustrator was! His name, by the way, is Loren Long.
Maybe she was trying to BS everyone into thinking she also illustrated it.
Sad and pathetic.
I will admit to liking 2 or 3 of her songs.
Made me laugh! Funny stuff. Thanks for that. I’ll be adding you to my favourites for sure.
I wanted to do her in high school….and likely if I had met her–I could have. Hell, everybody else did.
EWW.