Merry Holidays

2016 December 8
by mockers

Once again, your facebook idiocy has forced me to issue my annual informational announcement and warning:

When the calendar indicates that it is on or near Thanksgiving day, I tell people, “Happy Thanksgiving.”

When the calendar indicates that it is on or near Christmas day, I tell people, “Merry Christmas.”

The same goes for every holiday in the holiday season. When it’s November 20th or December 10th or whatever, and I doubt I will see that person again before the holiday season ends, I say, “Happy Holidays.”

You see, that’s how a language works, you simple fuck. Different words mean different things. This is why I don’t call my car a cheeseburger.

So…dick…if I wish you happy holidays and you attempt to correct me, I will immediately rescind any wishes for your happiness and well-being. If there are stairs nearby, I may attempt to sucker-kick you down them. You’re just as annoying as the politically correct people – and you’ve officially been warned.

2 Responses leave one →
  1. 2016 December 9
    phil permalink

    It always surprises me that folks who get a cob up their ass about this, one way or the other. Wish me happy or miserable holidays, merry Christmas, bitter New Years, or whatever. Rescind a former good wish, I really don’t care. If you’re that pedantic or neurotic, do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better.

  2. 2016 December 9
    yo granny permalink

    “Non-PC” has become the new PC. Does it really trigger people into a puddle of uncontrollable rage to have to resist busting out the n-word or slamming everyone who’s not an exact clone of themselves?

    Are basic decent manners really too much for the brave edgelord crowd to handle these days? They’re not that hard. People have been using them for generations and lived to tell the tale.

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