Sometimes I Shit and Sometimes I Do Not
For instance…
Several years ago I attended a Major League Baseball game in Pittsburgh. The Pirates were playing the San Diego Padres, and I had decent seats: in the upper deck, but on the infield along the third base line.
I hadn’t been to a MLB game in many years, and it was a fun day for me. What made it even better was the fact that we didn’t even have to pay for the tickets. My friend Mike got them through his job somehow.
And that’s a perfect example of a time when I didn’t shit. In fact, I don’t believe I shit until much later in the night, after I got home.
Additionally, my wife and I took our dog for a walk through the neighborhood several days ago. It was a beautiful evening and people were out in their yards, mowing or enjoying a cold beverage.
Several times we stopped and chatted with neighbors, and at one point our rambunctious border collie wriggled out of his collar, and started running free throughout the neighborhood. We all got a big kick out of it, I’m telling you. Silly dog!
And that was another time when I didn’t shit. Not even a small amount. We took our walk, talked to people, had a few laughs… and I didn’t shit at all.
However, and this is when it starts to get confusing, about a week ago I was watching a movie on DVD. I think it was The Right Stuff – one of my all-time favorites. And out of the blue, I had to go.
It probably had something to do with the large plate of spaghetti I ate for dinner, along with the garlic bread and garden salad. I put the disc on PAUSE, went to the bathroom and shit, returned to the couch, and started the movie again.
So, you see? There’s no rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes I shit, and sometimes I do not. I kind of take it on a case by case basis.
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WOW…Me too!!
But never, ever, in a public place.
I gave it the old college try but I ended up not giving a shit.
Oh, you shit alright. No worries there.
I think we can safely say you did today.
I’m with Kristin… never in public. And I have my favorite bathroom at home, the master bedroom crapper.
hmmmm, maybe it is the site itself.
I shit, therefore I am.
Life is a shit sandwich and every day you take another bite.
Lotta that going around
See the shithawks circling? I feel a shitstorm coming, I shit you not.
To shit or not to shit, that is the question. Really, I hope it’s not but being funny sometimes comes with a cost. And that cost in this case, is good taste.