Why You Gotta Player Hate on ig-88?

2010 February 23
by mockers

I just considered typing the following phrase into a serious academic effort, “If this assertion is to be believed, there would be little to no crime in the petrified forest of Lesbos.”  I think I might need a couple hours of sleep.

Here’s a facebook conversation I had yesterday:


can i get an opinion on something


Whether or not you should use punctuation? Yes, you should.


is this worth it or not

i run a lot, and i was thinking about getting nike+ (with a new ipod)


Sure…if that’s your thing


damn jason, i wanted a yes or no


Okay, then no. Buy one of those vagina-in-a-flashlight things.


i haven’t seen that


Evidently it’s called (WARNING, LINK NSFW) “the fleshlight




“it looks light a flashlight, but feels like a vagina” I wish I had such a gift for writing copy – I wonder if there’s some point in the lives of all fleshlight owners where they realize that they’re fucking a flashlight and start sobbing uncontrollably?


i love it


“runner up, the butt fleshlight!”


ha ha ha


and at $64.95, you’ve cut your recreational spending in half!


It really resembles an anus and what’s great is that it looks inconspicuous compared to the other anal toys I’ve used — with and without my wife.” he used anal toys with his wife?


“Here honey! watch me assfuck this flashlight!”


ha ha ha. i could see it happening


so yeah, no. Don’t buy the Garmin. Stay home and fuck a flashlight for exercise. You’re welcome and glad I could help.

What did you guys do last night?

I share this because I found the conversation funny and I thought you might too.  Unfortunately, mockable seems to be going down the shitter pretty fast and I can’t conceive of any way to save it.  I have written more, I have written less.  I have written better, I’ve used more guest mocks.  I’ve asked Jeff for more (this whole thing was his idea btw) and even tried to follow that asshole Jauncho’s advice.  I thought it might help if I encouraged you to write your own mocks in the comments about the type of person that would insert their penis into a flashlight…because that’s in the “make your humor site more popular for dummies” manual.

7 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 February 23
    Vicki permalink

    Too much pressure from your demanding public?

  2. 2010 February 23

    Whatever it was, it didn’t involve flashlights that look like vaginas or butts.

  3. 2010 February 23
    metten permalink

    Huh? What are you talking about?

  4. 2010 February 23
    WB in OH permalink

    I watched Law and Order reruns last night. I don’t have the interwebs at my domocile so all conversation is with myself, well that and my trusty flashlight.

  5. 2010 February 24
    T-STORM permalink

    Is the butt one called a FagLight?

  6. 2010 February 24
    T-STORM permalink

    IG-88 Was one bad ass assassin droid.

  7. 2010 February 24

    It’s J-U-A-N-C-H-O.

    Thanks for the shout out. My nipples are exploding with delight!

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS